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HorseWhisperer
01-31-2007, 10:24 PM
Gee i hope nobody on here who knows me fusses about me putting this here but ga lee i gotta tell somebody so here it goes my myhattiesburg friends....
I just feel like expressing my feelings about some of the things that have been happening in my life lately... I wont mention any names for safetys sake...
October 24 2006: A friend of mine (17 yrs old) was in a truck accident, she didnt survive. She helped me through all hard times in my freshman year at high school and she rode horses. She had to be one of the most positive people i ever knew.
October 31 2006: Yes halloween. A girl very dear to my heart (also 17) had been suffering for a few months from low blood platelets... She had been in and out of the hospital and i helped her catch up with her schoolwork when she came back. Our friendship grew and grew and i got to know her as she got to know me. She died in forrest general hospital before having her spleen removed to help resolve her health problems. My heart was officially crushed. I was mad, furious, at God, my mother, my friends, at everyone... but somehow i made it through...
*Between Novemver and December things were okay, except for a few family issues: my step mom left my dad, family medical problems, etc.
January 30 2007 A.M.: My newest best friend whom i met my sophomore year and had a number of exciting experiences with and to me seemed like the only person whom i could relate to and we talked about everything. She tells me that she is moving back to her old town... :( but i could get over it.... She kinda blew me off and was so happy she was moving back, I doubt that she considered me her best friend which hurt me more than her moving.
January 31 2007 P.M.: My neighbor hasnt called in a while and noone has seen action at her house since saturday. Another neighbor calls family and friends and noone has heard from her. A deputy is called, The friendly neighbor, my mother, the deputy, and I jump the fence and try to get into the house with no success. Deputy busts a window. I put a lawn chair in front of it and without thinking jump up on it and stick my head in the window we opened... Deputy passes me the flashlight and i see her head (i think) and some red ish green stuff surrounding her hair. She was covered in blankets and we couldnt see alot. The coroner is called, the sherif is called... it is getting late on a school night and here i am at my dead neighbors house... when everyone arrives we bust the door down and my mother starts puking from the smell... I follow the deputy in and wait while he walks down the hall and then turns around to look at me and my mom and he shakes his head and we all knew...
You guys she was older but we think it was from congestive heart failure or od on her meds... I dont know if i should be telling all of this and i might get in trouble with my mom or OldLady or AuburnFan but i had to tell someone...
Through all of this I learned alot of things...
1) Life can suck big time
2) Wether you want it to or not bad stuff is gonna happen
But what i finaly realized is that i was wrong for hating God. I felt like he wasnt there for me but he always was. I miss my friends and I dont know how to handle the neighbor issue but i have faith that tomarrow will be a better day and that in the end all of this will turn out for the benifit of my good. During all of this there were some good things though, babys being born, etc... I just needed to vent and now i feel nausous again but it feels better to get it all off my chest. Please excuse my grammar and spelling errors. Now i hope i dont get in trouble but dang it feels better to get it all out... Tomarrow is a new day and It will only be as good as i make it! :) my mom tells me that alot and she thinks i dont listen!
Thanks for lending a helping ear u guys!

fuzzis
01-31-2007, 10:27 PM
That's a lot to deal with.


:bhug:

fuzzis

HorseWhisperer
01-31-2007, 10:30 PM
Aw... Thanks for the hug it was much needed... I really miss the 2nd friend alot.. the neighbor thing sucks big and is kinda, acctually rather scary... I just felt so suffocated and i had to get it out so i posted it...

carsalesguy
01-31-2007, 10:44 PM
post anytime.

just a silly thing that i'm not sure really has anything to do with your situation:

i'm depressed. it's silly, i know, but i'm depressed. i sold my car tonight. it was a 93 civic. i remember i got mad at my dad cuz he bought it for my brother and it was what i wanted. i acquired the car, and blah blah blah i had to sell it.

it's gone. my friends and satan think i'm nuts because i'm attached to a car, but that's the way i am i guess

HorseWhisperer
01-31-2007, 10:48 PM
LOL... I know people who are attatched to their cars... i was attatched to a saddle of all things, i really liked it... needless to say i out grew it and got a new one which i dont like as much anymore... I have emotional attatchments to my cell phone... i love it... lol, typical teen

aaron
01-31-2007, 10:53 PM
Sorry for all the loss HorseWhisperer. You can find friends here anytime, and thanks for sharing with us.

virgo
01-31-2007, 11:00 PM
post anytime.

just a silly thing that i'm not sure really has anything to do with your situation:

i'm depressed. it's silly, i know, but i'm depressed. i sold my car tonight. it was a 93 civic. i remember i got mad at my dad cuz he bought it for my brother and it was what i wanted. i acquired the car, and blah blah blah i had to sell it.

it's gone. my friends and satan think i'm nuts because i'm attached to a car, but that's the way i am i guess

Here's a hug for you, too

:bhug:

virgo
01-31-2007, 11:05 PM
Aw... Thanks for the hug it was much needed... I really miss the 2nd friend alot.. the neighbor thing sucks big and is kinda, acctually rather scary... I just felt so suffocated and i had to get it out so i posted it...

It always makes me feel better to get things out, too. I hope you get to feeling better :)

firefly
01-31-2007, 11:08 PM
LOL... I know people who are attatched to their cars... i was attatched to a saddle of all things, i really liked it... needless to say i out grew it and got a new one which i dont like as much anymore... I have emotional attatchments to my cell phone... i love it... lol, typical teenWow! That is alot of heavy duty stuff to go through in such a short amount of time! Don't feel silly about being attached to a saddle. I used to own horses before I became disabled. I hung onto my saddle for several years, but I finally sold it. I cried when I sold it because I was finally saying good bye to that part of my life. It was a beautiful tooled chestnut leather saddle with silver on it. I had a matching headstall & breast collar. My last horse was a beautiful little golden buckskin Quarab mare & she is the one that wore the above mentioned tack. I drew & painted horses before I became disabled, also. I have severe nerve damage in both hands. Feel free to talk about anything that is bothering you on here. You will find many friends.:)

daisy
02-01-2007, 06:21 AM
Horse Whisperer, sorry for your losses :( and this is a good place to vent among friends.

We are here anytime. :smt006

pEtAl mIsFiT
02-01-2007, 10:54 AM
aww HorseWhisperer, I am so sorry, for all you have to deal with. I know your life has been an emotional roller coaster. I too lost a best friend of 21 years. I loved her so much. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I am even tearing up just typing about her. We met in middle school and was stuck to each other like glue. I never thought I would be able to live without her. It is still hard and I am sure always will be. I don't have her to fuss to about my mom, my husband, my kids, or anything. I miss her laugh she had a laugh that made everyone laugh. She was truly a jewel to me. However, I believe with all my heart if God brings you to it, he will also guide you through it. God, will also not give you more than you can handle as well. He knows you are a strong person and he has trust in you. You need to trust in him as well. Pray for him to give you the strength and courage you need right now. I will also be praying for you as well. Life is not easy, but it is what you make it!
God bless you sweetie.
Hang in there and post to us anytime!

XC9
02-01-2007, 03:59 PM
Horsewhisperer, My heart goes out to you. I am glad you understand that God is not doing this to you. Stuff happens, we pray and our prayers are heard. Journaling is one of the best therapeutic devices we ALL have. Talking about issues helps, don't keep them inside because they just keep eating away at you. I lost my daddy, mother and brother all in an 18 month period. It was hard-but God was there for me and friends and family too. Keep your faith and understand sometimes we will not understand Gods will-but he does what is right. God bless you and if you need to talk privately please feel free to e-mail me at any time. I assume I am probably about 20 years older than
you-have experienced alot and know to lean on God and friends for support. Always remember that God puts people in our lives for a reason. Be glad you were able to be a part of your friends lives because you sound like the type of person who IS a very GOOD friend to those brought into your life. God be with you and I meant what I said about if you need to talk.

HorseWhisperer
02-01-2007, 05:47 PM
Thanks for everything you guys have said!!! Sleep isnt happening but i did keep my breakfast down, lunch wasnt so lucky, and i am going to try supper... I have to soak myself in perfume because it feels like the smell wont go away, then when I get to school everyone is like Gosh didnt you take a bath... But I have faith it will all get better... Our church youth group is participating in D-Now this weekend and I hope that goes well for me...

pEtAl pUrr-Dog
02-02-2007, 11:55 AM
Bear Hugs !!!
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b6/Blinkbunny330/hug.gif

Hermione
02-02-2007, 01:25 PM
Thanks for everything you guys have said!!! Sleep isnt happening but i did keep my breakfast down, lunch wasnt so lucky, and i am going to try supper... I have to soak myself in perfume because it feels like the smell wont go away, then when I get to school everyone is like Gosh didnt you take a bath... But I have faith it will all get better... Our church youth group is participating in D-Now this weekend and I hope that goes well for me...


HW, my mom had the misfortune to find my dad's brother when he'd been dead for almost a week. She had the same problem. It will take some time, so go easy on yourself. It WILL get better. You had an extremely traumatic experience and those just have to heal. There's no shortcut. Find a short prayer like the 23rd Psalm and say it when this gets overwhelming. If you're Catholic, pray the Rosary. Or say the words to a favorite hymn. Those are "centering" prayers that will help you focus beyond the trauma. All the best, and God bless you.

HorseWhisperer
02-05-2007, 12:12 PM
Thanks for all of the comments you guys! its helped alot! We had our D-Now weekend was this weekend so thats why i havent replied back. Everything that all of you have said has helped so much! Things will get better i know it. I get to miss school today and tomorrow because of the Dixie National Livestock show! I get to go see Blake Shelton with our 4H at the rodeo friday night too! Well i need to go get my goats ready! I am excited about the next two days because i get to see all of my livestock friends! Especially some of the ones who come from the Dixie community and are very special to me! Thanks everyone and God Bless you all!

pEtAl mIsFiT
02-05-2007, 01:09 PM
Good Luck, let us know how you do!
I will be thinking about you!