Wedding showers?

[mberry]

A very good friend of mine got married at the JOP a couple of months ago. I was actually on my honeymoon, so wasn't able to attend. They are having a reception in November because none of their family or friends were there to celebrate the actual ceremony.

She wants to have the traditional showers and I'd love to host one for her. I just don't know how to host an after the wedding shower. Do people do this and how? I've surfed the internet and can't find any advise on how to do this. If anyone has attended one of these or has any advise, please help me!

[fuzzis]

No great etiquette expert, but I think that after the fact, it's not a shower. If you wanted to host a party for her, I think that would be great. I don't know about expecting people to bring gifts, and I wouldn't play any of those stupid shower games.

[kinger]

I feel the same about it being called a shower after the fact. So you think just having a "Celebrate the New Couple" party would be more reasonable?

[fuzzis]

You might want to register here (http://www.topweddingquestions.com/forum/Bridal_Showers_C19/Bridal_Shower_Etiquette_F46/) and ask the question. I didn't know there was so much--stuff, for lack of a better word--surrounding a wedding shower. & I've hosted two of them. Aack!

[fuzzis]

Hmmmm...in reading there, no post-wedding shower (http://www.topweddingquestions.com/forum/Bridal_Showers_C19/Bridal_Shower_Etiquette_F46/Post_bridal_shower_P30463/).

Throw them a party, but make it clear that it's not about gifts and that sort of thing. Parties are always good. :clap::clap::clap:

[Hermione]

I got married away from home and was given a couple of showers after the fact, but that was a really long time ago. Are they moving into a house and you could give them a house-warming instead? Or call it an "in honor of" dinner or cocktail party. People who want to will bring gifts.

PS I'm with Fuzzis on the stupid games. Aaacck indeed!

[mberry]

They were already living together. I'm thinking the party thing is the best idea. I'm just gonna have to get creative with a theme. Another problem is that my husband and I just bought a house, and I want it to be about them.

Shower games are always cheesy!

[Hermione]

Hmm, themes are fun. It could be "movie night" and you could give them a basket with popcorn, sodas, Blockbuster gift cards, movie candy (like Milk Duds, etc.) maybe several people could go in on it -- simple but fun.

[Hermione]

Shoot. Now I want some popcorn.

[mac]

I hated the process of going through my wedding shower, because I felt awkward sitting there opening gift after gift while people watched me, waiting for a reaction. At the same time, I sure was happy to get all that great stuff! In that regard, it was better than any birthday or Christmas I've ever had. :yes:

I would just throw them a party and make it clear that gifts are totally optional. Or just don't say anything, and those who want to bring them will, like Hermione said.

I'm not sure showers are as important when it's not a first wedding or when the couple has been living together a while. The purpose is supposed to be to provide them with things they're going to need in their new life/home. (Or at least that's what I've always thought they were for.) Although my husband and I were 27 and 33 years old respectively when we got married, neither of us had been married before and we still needed lots of domestic things, like towels and linens. He was a typical bachelor in that he had ONE set of 10 year old bedsheets. I was the typical English major in that I couldn't afford jack squat and what little I had was made up mostly of hand-me-downs.

[Hermione]

I would say that if you have something where some people are bringing gifts and some not, I wouldn't have them opening the gifts in front of everybody. That would embarrass the people who didn't bring one.