Young adults aren't sticking with church

[aaron]

I was talking to my dad over the weekend, who is a missionary, and he was telling me that he's having a hard time finding young people to donate to missions. In his denomination, they have to seek out donations to pay for them to go to the mission field. In my church, part of the money that I give to the church goes to missions. I visited a web site today that backed up what he was saying, and thought I would post it for discussion. The huge churches seem to be getting young people to me. They have the basketball courts, the contemporary bands, and probably most importantly, other young people. The smaller ones that I have visited, however, have few young people that stay interested after they are out of the house and on their own. This is also backed up by some of the youth ministers that I know.


Seven in 10 Protestants ages 18 to 30 — both evangelical and mainline — who went to church regularly in high school said they quit attending by age 23, according to the survey by LifeWay Research. And 34% of those said they had not returned, even sporadically, by age 30. That means about one in four Protestant young people have left the church.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2007-08-06-church-dropouts_N.htm?csp=34#

[58ford]

I think more young adults would stay in church if there were more opportunities for socialization. Long time ago folks were always at the church, dances, pic-nics, pot luck suppers, choirs, etc. Now it's seems the the churches, are more focused on simple spirituality (which is good) and fund raising, but the social aspects of the church in the community are falling away. My great uncle once told me, "Church was a great way to get to know people. Heck I met all six of my wives in church."

[Conveyor Belt]

aaron, the reason is right there in your post. The young people have to be lured to church with basketball courts, contemporary bands, other young people, plasma screens, etc. Big churches are marketing the church, not the religion. They come for the socialization, not the praise/worship. The focus has been taken off God, and put on material things and one upmanship.

Have young people ever been into church? I always thought it was one of those things you did because your parents made you, then you did it in high school because your friends were, then in college, you stopped, and returned in your mid 30's when life settled back down...

[SoMissTV]

This title should read, "Young adults aren't sticking with protestant churches," as study includes only mainline evangelical and mainline protestant denominations.

[Honey]

When we moved to a larger church it took me a little while to get comfortable with the 'new' music and the more exciting service. Soon I realized I knew where I was going for eternity and it wasn't about me but about the young ones whose eternity hadn't been decided. That being said, my son just got back from Africa where he took what he learned in this 'big, exciting, youth oriented church with him and spread the word.

[aaron]

aaron, the reason is right there in your post. The young people have to be lured to church with basketball courts, contemporary bands, other young people, plasma screens, etc. Big churches are marketing the church, not the religion. They come for the socialization, not the praise/worship. The focus has been taken off God, and put on material things and one upmanship.

Have young people ever been into church? I always thought it was one of those things you did because your parents made you, then you did it in high school because your friends were, then in college, you stopped, and returned in your mid 30's when life settled back down...

I'm not sure that has as much to do with marketing as it has to do with communication. Contemporary Christian music communicates the message better to me than older music. Plasma screens communicate the message better to me when videos are shown of things we are doing in the community. When my church markets, they do not market any of these "extras". I haven't seen another church do it either. Basketball courts are basically justified as a form of community. I agree, but don't always agree with how they are used. My church does not have basketball courts, or any courts for that matter, and they still seem to be growing every Sunday with new young people. The style of the service is a little different though, and the ministry focuses on young people.

[threekidspa]

aaron, the reason is right there in your post. The young people have to be lured to church with basketball courts, contemporary bands, other young people, plasma screens, etc. Big churches are marketing the church, not the religion. They come for the socialization, not the praise/worship. The focus has been taken off God, and put on material things and one upmanship.

Have young people ever been into church? I always thought it was one of those things you did because your parents made you, then you did it in high school because your friends were, then in college, you stopped, and returned in your mid 30's when life settled back down...

Church needs to be more than a place we go to get emotionally flogged on Sundays. I don't see anything really wrong with a church promoting the social aspects of fellowship as long as what they teach is doctrinally sound (whatever that means ;)), the focus of what they do is to glorify God.

[Monkey]

When we moved to a larger church it took me a little while to get comfortable with the 'new' music and the more exciting service. Soon I realized I knew where I was going for eternity and it wasn't about me but about the young ones whose eternity hadn't been decided. That being said, my son just got back from Africa where he took what he learned in this 'big, exciting, youth oriented church with him and spread the word.

Honey, while I do agree with you that the younger ones whose eternity hasn't been decided need something out of the service, I don't think that the service should JUST cater to those. I'm only 26, but I DO NOT prefer the contemporary services. In fact, I find it a distraction. I enjoy walking into the sanctuary and feeling a quiet reverence before the service starts. I guess to each his own, though. That's why it's great that we have so many different churches to choose from. I do want to get something out of the services I attend.

[Augustus McRae]

I should not pause here, I know. I do NOT want to start an avalanche of either emotional or pseudo-intellectual theological "darts." My favorite shade-tree preacher spoke on this very subject yesterday.

It is my "opinion" - and only THAT - that worship style and program "offerings" are NOT the things keeping people out of church membership and formal worship. This guy, Jesus, told us there were TWO COMMANDMENTS. He added that " EVERYTHING else hangs on those two..." When people sense that message coming from "church" - then they WILL be drawn to it.

Again, that's just the gospel according to Augustus McRae with an "assist" from Jesus - that's all.

[Honey]

Honey, while I do agree with you that the younger ones whose eternity hasn't been decided need something out of the service, I don't think that the service should JUST cater to those. I'm only 26, but I DO NOT prefer the contemporary services. In fact, I find it a distraction. I enjoy walking into the sanctuary and feeling a quiet reverence before the service starts. I guess to each his own, though. That's why it's great that we have so many different churches to choose from. I do want to get something out of the services I attend.


Hey Monkey,
That is just where I'm at right now in life because I have children at home. It's just a little sacrifice I am making right now for my kids. I still much rather listen to the old hymns so I buy CD. And besides that, this type of service works well with my husband's ADD. Yes I am also thankful for the many types of services we have here in South Ms. It could be a lot worse-we could be in a country where we have to meet in secret and risk death in order to have service.

[Astra]

This article was posted on another board I go to and the conversation included several people who had gone as children and just kind of phased out of it. What most of them said was either that they had gone away to college or a new job and been unable to find a church that fit them, so they stopped, or else they got to be in their 20s and felt left out of the church.

The latter was very common. They weren't concerned with the flashy programs, but felt like the sermons and ideas emphasized with the church just weren't applicable to them unless they were married with children. Single 20-somethings just felt like they were in the wrong place and then became less likely to attend. There were also some older people who replied and had experienced the same problem - their churches shifted to cater more to young families and they felt out of place as a result.

[carsalesguy]

church is a business now. that's the damn problem all in it's self.

[threekidspa]

I should not pause here, I know. I do NOT want to start an avalanche of either emotional or pseudo-intellectual theological "darts." My favorite shade-tree preacher spoke on this very subject yesterday.

It is my "opinion" - and only THAT - that worship style and program "offerings" are NOT the things keeping people out of church membership and formal worship. This guy, Jesus, told us there were TWO COMMANDMENTS. He added that " EVERYTHING else hangs on those two..." When people sense that message coming from "church" - then they WILL be drawn to it.

Again, that's just the gospel according to Augustus McRae with an "assist" from Jesus - that's all.


You're right. He didn't intend or this to be rocket science....

[Tully Mars]

Churches tend to reap what they sow...like just about everything else in life. Those churches that make a concerted effort to attract young people will, those that don't make the effort typically won't. My church has had as part of its mission statement since day one statements concerning an intentional focus on children and youth and also an effort to be culturally relevant while remaining doctrinally pure. Those two commitments combined have gone a long way toward making sure that we have very dynamic children and youth programs with excellent participation.

[cubby 1]

the only reason i haven't been back to church is because i don't exactly get along with our minister of music. not very Christ-like to jump down somebody's throat that was trying to help out.... and know's how to do what he was doing. yeah, he did a good job of running me off. i won't be back there unless somebody dies or gets married.

[Augustus McRae]

the only reason i haven't been back to church is because i don't exactly get along with our minister of music. not very Christ-like to jump down somebody's throat that was trying to help out.... and know's how to do what he was doing. yeah, he did a good job of running me off. i won't be back there unless somebody dies or gets married.

Now THAT is what church is all about.....lord, I wish I had not read that right there!

[cubby 1]

Now THAT is what church is all about.....lord, I wish I had not read that right there!

problem?

[Tully Mars]

the only reason i haven't been back to church is because i don't exactly get along with our minister of music. not very Christ-like to jump down somebody's throat that was trying to help out.... and know's how to do what he was doing. yeah, he did a good job of running me off. i won't be back there unless somebody dies or gets married.

But why not look for another church? :smt102

[Augustus McRae]

problem?


No, my good friend.....I was just talking to myself, you know?

[EricStratton]

No, my good friend.....I was just talking to myself, you know?


Yeah....I think there's a name for that.....

[cubby 1]

But why not look for another church? :smt102

Have been trying to find another church but we can't find one that a) isn't more than 45 minutes away, b) we are comfortable with.

There was a point that I could go to just about any church, but the people in the church play a big part in whether or not I feel accepted there. The whole incident with the music director just sort of turned me off to church, as much as I hate to say it.... this coming from a church music major. It gets frustrating, if you know what I mean.

[cubby 1]

No, my good friend.....I was just talking to myself, you know?

Sounds like you've had the same kind of experience???

[EricStratton]

Have been trying to find another church but we can't find one that a) isn't more than 45 minutes away, b) we are comfortable with.

There was a point that I could go to just about any church, but the people in the church play a big part in whether or not I feel accepted there. The whole incident with the music director just sort of turned me off to church, as much as I hate to say it.... this coming from a church music major. It gets frustrating, if you know what I mean.

I've hated....hate is a strong word.....I've met people that made me vomit at the sight of them in every church I've ever attended.....If you're looking for a church where you will like everybody and everybody will like you, GOOD LUCK! Let me know when you find it, too....I once had the same feelings, cub, but a preacher I met changed my mind.....He told me, simply, "Church is not about YOU!".....I've held a different perspective ever since.....

[Augustus McRae]

Sounds like you've had the same kind of experience???


No - I don't let people steal my joy. And, you have reminded me that I should have never paused at this thread to start with...I know better!

[cubby 1]

I've hated....hate is a strong word.....I've met people that made me vomit at the sight of them in every church I've ever attended.....If you're looking for a church where you will like everybody and everybody will like you, GOOD LUCK! Let me know when you find it, too....I once had the same feelings, cub, but a preacher I met changed my mind.....He told me, simply, "Church is not about YOU!".....I've held a different perspective ever since.....

I totally agree, but I have a big problem with someone in a leadership position in a church being a two-faced liar. I'm not saying that everything is about me, but I refuse to be in a potentially volatile situation while I am at church and supposed to be worshiping. I simply choose not to attend there.

[carsalesguy]

Have been trying to find another church but we can't find one that a) isn't more than 45 minutes away, b) we are comfortable with.

There was a point that I could go to just about any church, but the people in the church play a big part in whether or not I feel accepted there. The whole incident with the music director just sort of turned me off to church, as much as I hate to say it.... this coming from a church music major. It gets frustrating, if you know what I mean.

u baptist?

[cubby 1]

u baptist?

I am against denominations, as I believe they are not biblical... but I am considered a baptist, yes.

[carsalesguy]

oh ok just wondering

[cubby 1]

oh ok just wondering

I know the story sounds like it would come from a baptist church.

[Augustus McRae]

I am against denominations, as I believe they are not biblical... but I am considered a baptist, yes.

Okay, I'm going to bed on that one! Last time I got in one of these discussions here on MyH.com, one of these ladies called me a "Babylonian" - I'm still trying to figure that one out. Is that like a Sadducee or Pharisee?

I'm also trying to decipher what you just wrote above, Cubby.....

But I AM thinking of getting an Army Surplus mess tent and setting it up just South of Donanelle's to see if we can draw a gathering of "saints and sinners." It will definitely be "non-denominational" I suspect.....but we'll take a "love offering" for sure.

Night, night!

[SoMissTV]

But I AM thinking of getting an Army Surplus mess tent and setting it up just South of Donanelle's to see if we can draw a gathering of "saints and sinners."

Set it up AT Donanelle's and open the bar and I'll be there.

[Honey]

Hey Cubby,
We will save you a seat next to us but you will have to wear earplugs as me and Hubby can't carry a tune at all. 'Make a joyful noise' we made for me. And we always have candy-helps with hubbys ADD.

[Honey]

Good night Augustus.

[cubby 1]

I'm also trying to decipher what you just wrote above, Cubby.....



Put it this way....

I wish denominations didn't exist. No where in the bible does it say Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, etc....

My beliefs do fall more in-line with the Baptist or Methodist denomination, though.

[Augustus McRae]

Set it up AT Donanelle's and open the bar and I'll be there.

That is not the first time I've had that thought, SMTV. Guess our minds are equally warped. Lord, I wish I would get out of this thread!

[EricStratton]

Okay, I'm going to bed on that one! Last time I got in one of these discussions here on MyH.com, one of these ladies called me a "Babylonian" - I'm still trying to figure that one out. Is that like a Sadducee or Pharisee?

I'm also trying to decipher what you just wrote above, Cubby.....

But I AM thinking of getting an Army Surplus mess tent and setting it up just South of Donanelle's to see if we can draw a gathering of "saints and sinners." It will definitely be "non-denominational" I suspect.....but we'll take a "love offering" for sure.

Night, night!

I think a group already tried that idea.....weren't they called The Rainbow People?

[Augustus McRae]

I think a group already tried that idea.....weren't they called The Rainbow People?


They still down in the National Forest near Janice? Guess some minister of music pissed them off somewhere along the way.

[cubby 1]

They still down in the National Forest near Janice? Guess some minister of music pissed them off somewhere along the way.

Nah, I think there's other reasons behind that....:smt103

[carsalesguy]

sounds like it

[Augustus McRae]

Nah, I think there's other reasons behind that....:smt103


Lord, I apologize....and to you too, Cub!

Night night...

[carsalesguy]

yeah.

[cubby 1]

Lord, I apologize....and to you too, Cub!

Night night...

No blood, no foul.

[carsalesguy]

cuz u didn't feed the carboy shrimp or steaks.

no fishes tho- don't like fish.

[EricStratton]

Did the thread spontaneously combust cause I showed up?

Yes....much like the Rainbow People.....the stinky Rainbow People who just wanted to get along with everybody....

[Honey]

Did the thread spontaneously combust cause I showed up?

I'm usually the thread killer. That was funny.

[cubby 1]

actually, i have probably killed more threads than anyone.

[threekidspa]

Did the thread spontaneously combust cause I showed up?


You'd have to be REALLY evil for that to happen... :smt118

[Honey]

When I get to Heaven I don't think I'll be looking for the Baptist door or line. We will all be there going in together. Only I'll be the one singing off key. I been just learning the words down here.

[carsalesguy]

that would be user michelle as the evil one.

take it from first hand experience

[bpitt]

I use to catch on fire every time I crossed the railroad tracks going to Petal.Does that count?
Yeah, it counts, we used to torch Brooklyn people, those Aggies. Until I started dating one and eventually married her.

[bpitt]

Yes....much like the Rainbow People.....the stinky Rainbow People who just wanted to get along with everybody....
Do the Rainbow People still come to Desoto National Forest and camp? They used to come in like late summer and camp off Black Creek east of Brooklyn. They were kinda freaky, you know.............

[cubby 1]

Do the Rainbow People still come to Desoto National Forest and camp? They used to come in like late summer and camp off Black Creek east of Brooklyn. They were kinda freaky, you know.............

I think so.

[Augustus McRae]

They can likely be found near JAnice until first frost.

[carsalesguy]

so who goes and sings koom bi ya

[EricStratton]

Back when the Rainbow People first came to the area, some friends of mine used to go out there and.....experiment....with them.....they said the only rule was that one had to place his/her doobie in a special container to keep from littering in the forest....I also remember those dudes and dudettes used to come to town and beg for money....guess when they ran outta.....you know....

[LipsofanAngel]

I know I go to a large church that has a good bit of young adults that attend church services, but very few that are in small group Bible study classes. This is why I stopped going. I felt too old for the college group, and too yougn for the adult singles group... well, I did try ou tthe young singles class a couple times. Only I felt so unbelievably uncomfortable. It felt like I was frowned upon because I liked to dress nice and make myself presentable. Appearantly it's a sin to like fashion and makeup. ha!

So yeah, NOT having young people could turn young people away. So the problem is getting them there to begin with. I don't have any help to offer on that one.

[cubby 1]

I know I go to a large church that has a good bit of young adults that attend church services, but very few that are in small group Bible study classes. This is why I stopped going. I felt too old for the college group, and too yougn for the adult singles group... well, I did try ou tthe young singles class a couple times. Only I felt so unbelievably uncomfortable. It felt like I was frowned upon because I liked to dress nice and make myself presentable. Appearantly it's a sin to like fashion and makeup. ha!

So yeah, NOT having young people could turn young people away. So the problem is getting them there to begin with. I don't have any help to offer on that one.

I have found that this is the case for many young adults trying to find a place to go to church.