Pet Rules

[countrygirl]

A friend sent this to me and since there seems to be quite a few pet lovers out there, I thought I would share it.

PET RULES

(To be posted VERY LOW on the refridgerator door..nose height.)

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog or cat's rear end. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

NOTICE: To all non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our Pets:

!. They live here. You don't

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"-niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like some people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less.
2. Don't ask for money all the time.
3. Are easier to train.
4. Normally come when called.
5. Never ask to drive the car.
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends.
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions.
9. Don't want to wear your clothes.
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
and.....
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children....:smt023

[fuzzis]

Cobbler and I are currently negotiating the bed rules. The cats long ago learned them, but Cob is struggling a bit. She looks offended when I physically move her to the end of the bed and use my feet to keep her there. :smt118

[dollfus46]

A friend sent this to me and since there seems to be quite a few pet lovers out there, I thought I would share it.

PET RULES

(To be posted VERY LOW on the refridgerator door..nose height.)

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door ope. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog or cat's rear end. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the fowwowing message on our front door:

NOTICE; To all non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our Pets:

!. They live here. You don't

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"-niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like some people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less.
2. Don't ask for money all the time.
3. Are easier to train.
4. Normally come when called.
5. Never ask to drive the car.
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends.
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions.
9. Don't want to wear your clothes.
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
and.....
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children....:smt023

I got this in two parts. I read the bottom half, but found that Ian was trying to eat and swallow the evidence of the top half.

[Maggie-Doodle]

Just too funny country girl! But it is the honest to God's truth! We struggle with the same things day in and day out!

Awwww fuzzi, give poor Cob a little room...I am sure she makes a fine bed-fellow! :kekeke:

[fuzzis]

Just too funny country girl! But it is the honest to God's truth! We struggle with the same things day in and day out!

Awwww fuzzi, give poor Cob a little room...I am sure she makes a fine bed-fellow! :kekeke:

I'm sure she does. It doesn't change that I don't want to have to worry about spitting out dog hair because she's laid her head on my pillow. I also don't want to have to worry about her taking someone else's spot in the bed. Occasionally it's not just me in the bed. :kekeke:

[citygirl]

Punk's yet to master the bed rules. She's rooted me off my pillow more than once. And when the alarm goes off, she has to stand on my chest, lick my nose and then lay her head on my neck until I get up.

[dream member]

Brandi, Layla, and Maggie feel it necessary to sleep in bed with me...making attempts at my food is a must! :) That was very funny countrygirl! :)

[LipsofanAngel]

I think Sebastian would just laugh at me if he were able to read that! He's boss, and he knows it. He sleeps where he wants, and he insists on eating out of my cereal bowl... he doesn't like much other human food, but oh he loves cereal! Just this morning I left some unattended for a few seconds and he took full advantage of the situation!! He also likes sticking his paw in my glass anytime I have an adult beverage... and then he licks it off his hand. He only does it when there's alcohol involved though...

[countrygirl]

My Katie is too old to jump on the bed with me now....she was 10 on Halloween night. I still help her up now and then, especially if it's thundering. She goes crazy in bad weather...

[Green Tea]

My cat still wonders why she gets kicked during the night. You'd think she would have learned by now that if you lay in a certain spot on the bed, you are going to get kicked sometime during the night. Yet she still does it. She also hasn't learned that on weekends the alarm clock does not go off so it's not necessary to stand on my chest and meow until I'm awake. Silly cat.

[fuzzis]

My cat still wonders why she gets kicked during the night. You'd think she would have learned by now that if you lay in a certain spot on the bed, you are going to get kicked sometime during the night. Yet she still does it. She also hasn't learned that on weekends the alarm clock does not go off so it's not necessary to stand on my chest and meow until I'm awake. Silly cat.

This is why I love having "special" cats. They're not smart enough to resist training. :laugh:

[LipsofanAngel]

My cat still wonders why she gets kicked during the night. You'd think she would have learned by now that if you lay in a certain spot on the bed, you are going to get kicked sometime during the night. Yet she still does it. She also hasn't learned that on weekends the alarm clock does not go off so it's not necessary to stand on my chest and meow until I'm awake. Silly cat.
oh yes, Sebastian is clueless that "mama" does NOT want to wake up at 6am on Saturday and Sunday! I frequently get toys dropped in my face...

[countrygirl]

One of my Christmas wishes is that folks would take care of their pets.....

[dream member]

One of my Christmas wishes is that folks would take care of their pets.....

One of mine is that the law would take care of pet abusers...

[CupcakeChic]

oh yes, Sebastian is clueless that "mama" does NOT want to wake up at 6am on Saturday and Sunday! I frequently get toys dropped in my face...

i wish my mine would learn the concept of SLEEPING IN... at least they wait until 8...

[Dixie Tree Slayer]

Kujeaux Wants out at 3 or 4 in the morning and is vocal about it.. I take him out late at might then the little @#$%$^% will come in and drink half a bowl of water WTH??? I take him out again and then he finishes the other half... So 3 or 4 in the morning it is...I then sit on the couch and he lays his head in my lap. I watch TV or a while and doze....
Life is pretty good then when he does that...:smt023

[LipsofanAngel]

i wish my mine would learn the concept of SLEEPING IN... at least they wait until 8...
oh I know... course he has saved my a$$ a few times when I forgot to set my alarm. I really don't have to though- he "meows" like clock work at 6am.

[onlyme]

One of mine is that the law would take care of pet abusers...

Sometimes justice is served: MIchael Vicks anyone?

[onlyme]

Kujeaux Wants out at 3 or 4 in the morning and is vocal about it.. I take him out late at might then the little @#$%$^% will come in and drink half a bowl of water WTH??? I take him out again and then he finishes the other half... So 3 or 4 in the morning it is...I then sit on the couch and he lays his head in my lap. I watch TV or a while and doze....
Life is pretty good then when he does that...:smt023

Every night??? I'd get that dog some depends :kekeke:

[aquafine]

My dog has saved my butt a few times when I missed my alarm or turned if off in my sleep. She starts out nosing at my face and then gets really annoyed and whines and hits me up side of the head with her paw! She doesn't listen to "5 more minutes!" But it sucks on the weekends when I can actually sleep in.

[countrygirl]

My Katie loves the grandsters. I usually get the eldest after school each day and Katie goes out to wait on her...she knows what time he gets here. Katie also loves to fish....I took some video of the grandster one day and he hollered at his Papaw, "Come on Papaw, let's go fishing!" I was reviewing the video and Katie was sound asleep in her spot....When she heard that on the video, she jumped up and wanted out to go fishing even though the grandster wasn't even there.... And I read somewhere that some idiot did a study and came to the conclusion that dogs could understand some words.......probably spent a ton of our tax money doing it. There are some words that I have to spell around Katie unless I want to go fishing, take a walk, play ball, go see Granny.......

[Dixie Tree Slayer]

Every night??? I'd get that dog some depends :kekeke:Naw he doesn't need depends I need to pull his water bowl up at night so he won't drink so much at bedtime... But he throws his brown eyes on me and I say what the hey... I almost lost him last year to cancer... Amputated his front leg to save him... I try to keep him with me every where I go...
Life is good with a good pet... Or even a bad pet... Had a cat one time that shared his snakes with us all the time... :ohnoes:

[Maggie-Doodle]

Country Girl, what "flavor" is your Ms. Katie? :kekeke: My BooBoo is a peke-a-poo!

[countrygirl]

Katie is a lab mix...it seems that everybody loves Katie. If something ever happens to Hubby and myself, Katie will be the only thing anyone fights over. Once in a while you get a special pet, and Katie is one of those special ones. It seems they have a way of worming their way in to your hearts. I think what has amazed me so much about her is that she is able to make almost everyone that she meets love her.

[Maggie-Doodle]

Katie is a lab mix...it seems that everybody loves Katie. If something ever happens to Hubby and myself, Katie will be the only thing anyone fights over. Once in a while you get a special pet, and Katie is one of those special ones. It seems they have a way of worming their way in to your hearts. I think what has amazed me so much about her is that she is able to make almost everyone that she meets love her.

I know what you mean...I have had two doggie babies like that...Nancy, my first wire-haired fox terrier that I showed and now BooBoo...The Good Lord broke the molds he made them with!