Life Experience

[LipsofanAngel]

I'm am curious to hear you guys' (and gals') opinions of what constitutes "Life experience". Is it based on age? What one has actually experienced in life- good or bad? What?

I ask because I *heard* someone refer to someone else as "having NO life experience".... so, I'm curious what it DOES take for one to have life experience...

I'm limited on my time right now, but I will give my opinion of this sometime tomorrow :)

[CircusRide]

My opinion......you're ignorant to the world until you're at least 25.

[pEtAl mIsFiT]

having kids is a life experience!

[rileysmom]

having kids is a life experience!

AMEN to that!!!! :smt023

[aaron]

I really can't base it on age. Someone who has lived on the streets since 10 may have more life experience in my opinion than someone who lived at home under the roof of their parents till 18. Not to mention that different lives experience much different things. If you've loved and lost, then your on your way.

[JMC]

I think it's based on the good and bad experiences, how you're raised and what you absorb from your environment.

I think you get life experience from getting out and doing things on your own, making mistakes, and correcting them. Some folks have lots of life experience by the time they are old enough to start college. This may be because they had no other choice but to make for themselves, or because their parents pushed them to be able to survive away from the comfort of 'home.' Some folks never get out from under someone else always doing and providing for them, making decisions for them, doing what they think is best for them, and shelter them from all that is potentially unpleasant. These are the folks that lack life experience in my opinion.

I don't know that I'd stick an age to it because I know some early 20's folks that have a lot more life experience that some of my friends in their mid-30's. I think you will be at a disadvantage to the eyes of many if you still have 'teen' hanging off the end of your age though.

[jkspatty]

Marriage, Divorce, Having Children, Losing a Job (not the min wage type), Losing a child or parent, Keeping a roof over your head, dealing with a terminal illness( yourself or a loved one), discovering your spouse/sig other is cheating or not having the strength to resist temptation yourself, changing careers, having to decide if that last $10 should be used to put gas in your vehicle so you can get to work or food for that day, watching your parents age. Just a few happy tidbits there.....lol.

[birthdaybunnie]

Working in health care I have seen several things that have led me to take a different path in every day choices. Many patients I encountered and the things that brought them into the hospital have made me see danger in more things. I know that you can't "not do things", but I have become much more aware of daily dangers. I guess this counts as a life experience becase many of these have stuck in my mind after 20 years.

[birthdaybunnie]

Marriage, Divorce, Having Children, Losing a Job (not the min wage type), Losing a child or parent, Keeping a roof over your head, dealing with a terminal illness( yourself or a loved one), discovering your spouse/sig other is cheating or not having the strength to resist temptation yourself, changing careers, having to decide if that last $10 should be used to put gas in your vehicle so you can get to work or food for that day, watching your parents age. Just a few happy tidbits there.....lol.

I guess the sad things impact our lives more than the happy.

My happy experiences would be...graduating from college and my wedding day.

[Remington]

I think one who has endured more trials and has had to carry more responsibilities is considered one who has more "life experience". There are too many young people who have never had to do anything for themselves and they haven't had to experience those things. Of course, that is my definition of "life experience". Others may say you would have more if you have done more things and been to more places.

[aquafine]

I think that "life experience" means you know how to take care of your life and are responsible for your actions. Usually having kids makes you get a whole lot of life experience really quickly. I agree, for most people you don't have life experience until about 25 because your parents are taking care of you until then in one way or another. I see that with my friends--and people tell me that I'm much more mature than most my age. I've been through different experiences and had to do a lot on my own since my mom died when I was 16. Now I'm 23, working fulltime, paying all my bills myself (including my credit card debt-ouch) and student loans. I put myself through college and I'm working hard to keep my finances in order. I think that being responsible for yourself is an important part of life experience.

The other part that I think is really important is the understanding that life is not fair. It's not easy. It's not usually fun unless you make it fun. I had a hard time with the "life is not fair" after my mom died. I went to college and joined a sorority where most girls had everything handed to them but yet they complained about things. It was hard for me not to scream at them for their selfishness! So my life experiences have taught me that I'm responsible for me, no one is "supposed" to help me- not family, not the government, not anyone. It's up to me to be successful and happy! " AND probably more importantly it's taught me to really appreciate it when someone does help me :smt001 (or to be honest and not accept help when I don't need it).

I know I have ALOT more to learn though.

[58ford]

It's not how long you been here. It's what happened while you been here.

[Conveyor Belt]

I'll agree with the consensus that's it's doing things on your own that makes life experiences. Living with mom and dad, even if you're traveling the world, is really not life experience. It's just stuff.

Kids are a big experience. That makes you deal with medical and financial things at the same time. Buying a home is a life experience. I can't believe some people buy a new home every few years. It's crazy. It takes a month. I don't want to do it again too many more times.

Losing someone close, well, it can be, depends on how you look at it. Some people just approach death differently. Maybe it's just me... I donno.

Managing people successfully is a life experience.

Building something from nothing, starting a business, etc...

[LipsofanAngel]

Thanks for all your posts on this... some of it I had thought of, but other things were brought up that had not crossed my mind.

I will disagree on the age thing though... for some people. Like Aaron said, I can admit that there are some 15 year olds that have had a lot more life experience than me!! One thing I would add to things y'all have said, is that I think that part of it is when you come to realize (regardless of age) the injustices and hardships of the world... knowing that they are there, even if you had not experienced them first hand and developing empathy for those who have. I also think that at whatever age, when you come to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you... that's a big thing. Some people learn it early, but I also know MANY adults who have yet to learn that. Also, I think having to take care of yourself (along with taking care of another- babies, elderly parents, etc) plays a big role. Again, that doesn't depend on age. Sad fact that there are 12 year olds that have to feed & clothe themselves all the while some young adults are still living off mommy and daddy.... (I ramble, I hope some of that made sense).

So here's one more question.... in order to make the assumption that someone has had no life experience, would that person have to actually know the accused very well... or is this something that can easily be determined about a person?

[birthdaybunnie]

One of the first things that impacted my life was the death of my Bee Bee, (My grandmother).

I work at the hospital where she was a patient when she died. long story short..the day she died a nurse from the floor she was on called me in my dept and said she was not doing well. I ran up the stairs to the 3rd floor and there was my Bee Bee, eyes set and a big ol blood clot on her lips. She was gone, but I told her that I loved her and moved on. I will admit many nights I cried myself to sleep knowing what I had seen.

My Bee Bee was 75 and had more vitality than more 40 yrs old, I hope the gene is in my way!!

[LipsofanAngel]

One of the first things that impacted my life was the death of my Bee Bee, (My grandmother).

I work at the hospital where she was a patient when she died. long story short..the day she died a nurse from the floor she was on called me in my dept and said she was not doing well. I ran up the stairs to the 3rd floor and there was my Bee Bee, eyes set and a big ol blood clot on her lips. She was gone, but I told her that I loved her and moved on. I will admit many nights I cried myself to sleep knowing what I had seen.

My Bee Bee was 75 and had more vitality than more 40 yrs old, I hope the gene is in my way!!

First big loss is so hard... course any loss of a loved one is...

I think the first time I ever felt a bit "grown up" was the summer after my freshman year in high school, the night my uncle was killed in a car accident... I was the one given the task of calling certain relatives, because mom was too upset, and dad was having to take care of her. It scared me to death having to do that... I can still picture myself sitting on my bed with the cordless phone, my hands shaking so much I could hardly dial any phone numbers...

[Hermione]

My sister died at 48, after six months of illness. Person after person commented that she had "lived more" in that time than many people do in 100 years. She had a dream, went after it, worked like a fiend and realized it. She traveled all over the world -- in fact, some of her ashes were scattered in the Himalayas. She had deep friendships, got to share, got to be a little famous (her wedding was featured in Gambit) and had one deep, soul-wrenching tragedy that she didn't live to see resolved, but we did.

[birthdaybunnie]

First big loss is so hard... course any loss of a loved one is...

I think the first time I ever felt a bit "grown up" was the summer after my freshman year in high school, the night my uncle was killed in a car accident... I was the one given the task of calling certain relatives, because mom was too upset, and dad was having to take care of her. It scared me to death having to do that... I can still picture myself sitting on my bed with the cordless phone, my hands shaking so much I could hardly dial any phone numbers...

Wow, Lips you were so young! I have nightmares about sudden death in car accidents. I am sure it made you stronger and even stronger in your profession. I felt the same way when a family member died in 05. I was the caregiver but yet I was grieving my friggin heart out...

[mac]

Experiences are worthless unless you reflect on them and learn from them and apply that knowledge in the next experience.

Doing that constitutes life experience, I think.

[Echo Four Bravo]

Wow, a lot of varied definitions there. All very valid. The way I would describe life experience is the culmination (up to the present moment) of what you have gained in knowledge along the way. When you come to a crossroads in life, do you recognize it as being similar to something you have encountered before? If so, did you learn anything from that first experience? If you don't gain anything valuable from all of your "firsts", you have life experience, but it did you no good. You will repeat past mistakes. As many here have pointed out, some start learning life's lessons earlier than others. It's all about how you handle it. I think the most valuable lesson I learned in the Marine Corps is that, if you decide you can do something, I mean really truly believe that you can, there is very little that you can't handle. After having said all that, I think that I liked Aquafine's definition the most.

[dyates]

I guess if you have to be explained to what life experience constitutes then I would say you really don't have much. As far as knowing someone personally that's not necessary. When a person expresses their views and outlooks on life in an unrealistic fashion then it's pretty much obvious you have no life experience.

[LipsofanAngel]

Thanks for sharing for your opinion Dyates :)

[LipsofanAngel]

Experiences are worthless unless you reflect on them and learn from them and apply that knowledge in the next experience.

Doing that constitutes life experience, I think.
You're so right about that Mac... things have to create some kind of meaning within you in order to be worth something...

[amanda]

Lips, I think it is a combination of age and what life has thrown at you during that time. I know at 18 I thought I had gone through all the life experiences to make me a "mature" person. It wasn't until I reached 32 and had my second child that I realized what I thought my "life" constituted at 18 was not at all what it did at 32. The wonderful thing about life and experience is that it is on-going and totally developing on a constant basis. What may be a life experience to me may not be to someone else. Circumstances determines that for each of us. However, I would never judge someone else as having NO life experience, because as long as you are alive today then you are experiencing life in some regard.

[LipsofanAngel]

yeah... and (I'm just thinking *outloud* now), living each day... like realllly living... doing your best to make meaning out of every chance you get, impacting others, learning from others, etc.

This is slightly off topic, but just the other day I was driving to Walmart around 6:30 in the morning, and I saw all the kids waiting outside in the cold before the sun had even come up... for the first time I though "hummm. I NEVER did that... I have know clue what it's like to be a child waiting every morning for the school bus"... I couldn't help but take a few seconds and think about "I wonder if/how something as small as not riding the bus to school may have shaped who I am today"....
rambling, and I don't know where I was going with that one... sorry!! :)

[FashionPolice]

I think life experiences happen at every age and they most definitely can be anything from great life experiences to bad experiences. Either way, I like to look at life experiences at lessons learned and experiences that will help you grow. I am only 21 and sometimes I think "my goodness I have experienced a lot" but in all actuality, I have a lot of life lessons left ahead of me! I will most definitely say that college is one crazy/fun/great/stressful/etc. life experience rolled into one!

[LipsofanAngel]

I guess if you have to be explained to what life experience constitutes then I would say you really don't have much.
I don't see anything wrong with having a conversation about various definiations of something... as you can see, many people on here gave sligtly different views of it. It's called having an intellectual dialogue. You have your opinion about it, as does everyone else. We're all entitled to that... I just happen to enjoy listening to others rather than seeing the world from one perspective.

[LipsofanAngel]

I think life experiences happen at every age and they most definitely can be anything from great life experiences to bad experiences. Either way, I like to look at life experiences at lessons learned and experiences that will help you grow. I am only 21 and sometimes I think "my goodness I have experienced a lot" but in all actuality, I have a lot of life lessons left ahead of me! I will most definitely say that college is one crazy/fun/great/stressful/etc. life experience rolled into one!
Oh I know... this goes back to what Amanda said... I'm not all that far removed from college myself, but looking back even now I think "gosh, and I thought I really knew about life then!" :laugh:

[amanda]

yeah... and (I'm just thinking *outloud* now), living each day... like realllly living... doing your best to make meaning out of every chance you get, impacting others, learning from others, etc.

This is slightly off topic, but just the other day I was driving to Walmart around 6:30 in the morning, and I saw all the kids waiting outside in the cold before the sun had even come up... for the first time I though "hummm. I NEVER did that... I have know clue what it's like to be a child waiting every morning for the school bus"... I couldn't help but take a few seconds and think about "I wonder if/how something as small as not riding the bus to school may have shaped who I am today"....
rambling, and I don't know where I was going with that one... sorry!! :)

But that was YOUR life experience. Life experience doesn't have to equate to something bad happening in your life. Having my children was the most positive thing (outside of marrying Butterball) that has happened in my life - but I consider it one of the best life experiences ever. :)

[LipsofanAngel]

But that was YOUR life experience. Life experience doesn't have to equate to something bad happening in your life. Having my children was the most positive thing (outside of marrying Butterball) that has happened in my life - but I consider it one of the best life experiences ever. :)
oh yeah, I just catch myself sometimes thinking of just little things, good or bad, that made me- me... or if things had been different, how would that have changed my outlook or personality?

[CircusRide]

So, if you've had kids, gotten a divorce, lived on the streets, and had a three way.....you've got experience. There you have it.

[LipsofanAngel]

So, if you've had kids, gotten a divorce, lived on the streets, and had a three way.....you've got experience. There you have it.
yes Circus- but what did that person LEARN from it????? ;)

[amanda]

oh yeah, I just catch myself sometimes thinking of just little things, good or bad, that made me- me... or if things had been different, how would that have changed my outlook or personality?


It probably would have, to some degree. But there isn't anyway to know how, because your life experience was different than mine, or anyone else's. It is truely what you DO with that experience that makes us who we are.

[CircusRide]

yes Circus- but what did that person LEARN from it????? ;)

Don't have kids unless you truly want them, single is great, cardboard doesn't keep out the rain, and three is better than two anyday.

[Fire Extinguisher]

I saw this post yesterday but before jumping in thought on it overnight. Unusual for me.

Life's Experience is life's lessons....... and even small children have it and have learned it.. on their level.

It's what we do with those experiences and lessons that shape what kind of person we are. From Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Life's Lessons" When we look back and see what we've done....will we be proud or ashamed of what we've become?

So with that being said I think I can look back and be proud. My early lessons taught me that I would not be the kind of parent that was never involved in his kids activities..... mine never saw me do anything and that still hurts.... so mine have always seen me on the sidelines.. in the stands....in the audience.. or being the chaprone..... taking a bad experience and turning it to good.... LIFE'S LESSONS.

Being married at 17, a father at 18...two kids at 21... the last one at age 38 (same wife...34 wonderul years and a whole mess of lessons!) LIFE'S LESSONS...the hard way...... all turning out good from taking the lesson learned and turning it to good.

We never stop our Life Experience... it starts at birth and ends at death....the lesson comes from all we know and all we do... sometimes we look at what we see wrong and it takes good friends to slap us hard and show us our selves in the mirror... make us look back and see what we've done..... and be proud.....

One more from the same Skynyrd CD.... Lucky Man..

Well it took so long for me to realize
That my destiny was right before my eyes
If it were up to me to travel through this life
I'd find an open space for me to live out all my dreams

I'm such a lucky man, I try to be a stronger man
I shed a tear or two but that don't make me a weaker man
It's made me a better man, I've given all I can
To a world that sometimes thinks that I'm a lesser man.

I remember all the things I've been through
Gave myself to all those people I once knew
I'm such a lucky man

Life's Lessons...... Life's Experience...

[nooskye]

just my thoughts ... life's experiences, like most have already said ... differ, that's what makes us unique and special ... it is what "we" bring to the table in conversations, emotions and insights ...

each birth of my babies brought a different experience ... my brother passing when i was 12 brought an experience that shapes me to this day, some 20 years later ... the big girl, who is 8 ... is experienceing her very first *major* experience in her daddy passing ... all of these things, and so much more, has shaped who i am ... the lady in me ... the momma in me ... the friend in me ... even the wife in me ... and even though *some* of these experiences i wished i would have never had ... i wouldn't trade them for anything, because it would in fact, at that point, CHANGE WHO I AM ... and that would just suck!!

lips ... thank you for starting this ... i think its great you are making an attempt to gain insight into your fellow MHers!! ... carry on love ...

[nooskye]

I guess if you have to be explained to what life experience constitutes then I would say you really don't have much. As far as knowing someone personally that's not necessary. When a person expresses their views and outlooks on life in an unrealistic fashion then it's pretty much obvious you have no life experience.


it's no different than having algebra or trig or a certain aspect of US History explained ... if it's not understood, then it's not understood ... and needs to be explained ... i've always been told that the only stupid questions are the ones left unasked ... :smt102 ... it may just be me though ... and just fyi ... if someone expresses their views in unrealistic fashions doesn't neccessarily mean they lack expereince, they may, just MAY not know HOW to properly express themselves ... it happens on here, in these boards ... ALL THE TIME!!! my point is ... that just because something is not understood shouldn't make it unreachable ... you live, you learn ... well, hopefully anyway :-D

[pinkytuscadero]

I guess if you have to be explained to what life experience constitutes then I would say you really don't have much. As far as knowing someone personally that's not necessary. When a person expresses their views and outlooks on life in an unrealistic fashion then it's pretty much obvious you have no life experience.

:poke:

That's pretty harsh. :smt009 We all don't have to agree, but there's nothing gained from talking down to someone. The best leaders and educators learn by asking questions and gaining insight from other's experiences.

[fuzzis]

I'm never quite certain that life experience is really something that can be compared. I mean, I look at my boss's daughter and know that she's got a whole different set of life experiences than I do. That doesn't mean that her experiences are better or worse than mine. Just that they're different.

[dyates]

I'm not talking down to anyone. I expressed my feelings on the matter just as each and every one of you did. Did I say "Okay, no one else can post about this matter and give their feelings on the subject at hand."
No I didn't.

I haven't "groaned" anyone on thier opinions because well..everyone is entitled to one correct? Sure I may disagree with them...speak on how I feel about things but, I'm not going to stop anyone else from doing it.

I'm not going to appologize for the way I see things so if you're waiting on that then you'll be waiting a LONG while.

By the way...before anyone gets in a frenzy hoping I'll play into the "drama" of online forums ..let me save you some time...it's not going to happen.

And now ladies and gentlemen...I've spent ENTIRELY too much energy even replying to this...so....carry on :smt023

[Hermione]

Being married at 17, a father at 18...two kids at 21... the last one at age 38 (same wife...34 wonderul years and a whole mess of lessons!) LIFE'S LESSONS...the hard way...... all turning out good from taking the lesson learned and turning it to good.



:laugh::laugh: Off-topic a bit, but I had to laugh -- that's exactly what my parents did! Mom said, "it's not the baby at 38, it's the 12-year old at 50!" However, BabyBro is such an incredible blessing. For one thing, he has most of the remaining memory, Mom & I losing more of ours every day.

[Fire Extinguisher]

:laugh::laugh: Off-topic a bit, but I had to laugh -- that's exactly what my parents did! Mom said, "it's not the baby at 38, it's the 12-year old at 50!" However, BabyBro is such an incredible blessing. For one thing, he has most of the remaining memory, Mom & I losing more of ours every day.


Older wiser (one hopes) more financially secure.... lessons learned from the other two.... seems easier have a 13 year old at 51 than having one at 30....