Amazing Home Remedies

[Fish-Bait]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES


1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself




2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.




3. Avoid arguments with 'the Mrs.' about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.




4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.




5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you


From rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze Button.



6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then


You ll be afraid to cough.



7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.




8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.




Daily Thought: Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.




If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.



:-D

[Conveyor Belt]

I live by the last one...

[wilebill]

Here's some more that may fit in with those:
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Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

If written correctly, legalese is perfectly incomprehensible.

Never step in anything soft.

Always find out what the kids are doing and tell them to stop.

An unbreakable toy is good for breaking other toys.

Never eat prunes when you're hungry.

Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.

Never, ever, play leapfrog with a unicorn.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

The trouble with resisting temptation is that it may never come again.

Put all your eggs in one basket and WATCH THAT BASKET.

If you can't win, break even, or even quit the game, scheme to alter the rules.

To err is human, but when the eraser wears out before the pencil, you're carrying it too far.

The way some people find fault, you'd think there was a reward.

[Hermione]

Actually, the WD-40/duct tape one is true . . .

[rileysmom]

I truly needed a good laugh today. Thanks guys!!!!!!

[g8rfan]

#6 'bout made me spit out my coke :laugh:
OMG Those were great. Thanks!

[Scarlett O'Hara]

I'm still laughing!!!

[Desert Donkey]

These are something like our "Three Rules of Tanking", which go like this:

1) Use a hammer.

2) Use a bigger hammer.

3) Deny ever using a hammer.