What's the worst pick up line?

[hendrixfreak70]

I can think of a million. Has anyone ever used one on you? Did it work? Did they get slapped etc etc?

[hendrixfreak70]

Or let me clarify a little. What's the best one too?

[4olems]

LMAO.... I may not be the best looking guy in here but Im the only one talking to you....

[PHDPLEASE]

I'd crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass and slip down a razor blade slide into a pool of lemonade just to drink your bathwater.

[hendrixfreak70]

I'd eat the corn out of her (poop). I know, that's nasty.

[hendrixfreak70]

LMAO.... I may not be the best looking guy in here but Im the only one talking to you....


:smt103 Damn that's harsh!

[4olems]

I like every bone in your body..especially mine

[hendrixfreak70]

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? I was blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start. I know I dont have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk. Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you? Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend. Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long. Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here. POOF! (What are u doing?) I'm here, where are your other two wishes? I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy! If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous! Do you have the time? (she gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down . Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle. Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the room became beautiful. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart. Is that top felt? [No] Would you like it to be? Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? Is your last name Gillete cause your the best a man can get. Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you. I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night? You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me. I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you. You look life my first wife! (how many have you had?) none. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot? I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no.So what's it gonna be? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say... "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."This is a test of the emergency pickup line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pickup line. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib. I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out. If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away. Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted. Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless. Your body is a wonderland and i want to be Alice. I'm like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but im as sweet as can be. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart. Did you fart, 'cause you blow me away! I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'! If you were a booger I'd pick you first. Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle. You've been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room. If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity. Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'. Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside? Like the sheets on your bed I want cover you with love. Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no. I hope your day is as radiant as your smile. You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae. You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper. I can tell your future, it is you giving me your number. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. Giant polar bear (What?) It's an icebreaker. Hi, my name is....Your so hot when i look at you I get a tan I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you. You look so sweet your givin me a toothache. My love for you is like the universe...neverending!! If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction. You - "Did it hurt". The other person will naturally say "Did what hurt?", You - "When you fell from heaven. "Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart. Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes! You say "I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips." She says, "Bet's on." You kiss her then say, "I lost. "You got something on your chest: my eyes Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after. I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room? Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you. Do you want to make millions? millions of babies! The night is young, the moon is bright, and you are here with me tonight. I wanna bag you like some groceries. kiss me if I am wrong, but isn't your name (take a guess)...Janice???? Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only TEN I see
</PRE>

[g8rfan]

Can I check you for ticks? :smt103

[PHDPLEASE]

Or, another one of my favorites:

Nice shoes. Wanna #*&%?

[fuzzis]

Said to our table, which counted four women and one man....

"So, uhhhhh, some night if you're, ummmmmm, looking for another, I wouldn't mind going second. Or third. Or even fourth!"

[thornton04]

Im gonna report that post hendrix.

[Fish-Bait]

I had a friend of mine that if he noticed a girl come into a bar by herself he would walk up to her and say "Wanna go to my car and F**k?" It worked prolly 1 out of a dozen attempts, but when it did he would be gone for like 2 hours.......no tellin' how many bars he got kicked out of.

[4olems]

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money???

[hendrixfreak70]

I spent like 10 minutes putting spaces in between those lines and the damn thing went back to the way it was, fine!

[4olems]

Just call me milk because I will do your body good...

[4olems]

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg was Christmas could I visit you between the holidays?

[hendrixfreak70]

if your left leg was thanksgiving and your right leg was christmas could i visit you between the holidays?

lmao!

[fuzzis]

Said to the man with the four ladies, "Dude, I've been waiting for you to get up and take a piss so I could check you out. You've got to be hung like a horse, carrying a rope down there, if you're keeping four women satisfied. I just gotta shake your hand. (then turning to look at the four ladies) I ain't that impressive, but I ain't that bad either."

[hendrixfreak70]

said to the man with the four ladies, "dude, i've been waiting for you to get up and take a piss so i could check you out. You've got to be hung like a horse, carrying a rope down there, if you're keeping four women satisfied. I just gotta shake your hand. (then turning to look at the four ladies) i ain't that impressive, but i ain't that bad either."

lo:l!!!!!!!!!

[fuzzis]

lol!!!!!!!!!

Three guesses as to which local bar was responsible for that exchange. Three more guesses as to where the "not that impressive" one was from. :bowrofl:

[4olems]

Do you clean your clothes with windex? Cause I can see myself in your pants

[PHDPLEASE]

Three guesses as to which local bar was responsible for that exchange. Three more guesses as to where the "not that impressive" one was from. :bowrofl:

Ropers...and...he was from Wayne County

[58ford]

Don't I know you from MyHattiesburg?

[fuzzis]

Ropers...and...he was from Wayne County

Nope and nope. :kekeke:

[58ford]

(This one only works in biker bars)
Hey, how'd you like to feel 1100 cubic centimeters of raw power throbbing between your legs? When we're done we can go ride my bike.

[PHDPLEASE]

nope and nope. :kekeke:

where where!!

[hendrixfreak70]

Three guesses as to which local bar was responsible for that exchange. Three more guesses as to where the "not that impressive" one was from. :bowrofl:

I think I know!!!

[hendrixfreak70]

Shenanigans and Melba???

[4olems]

Do you work for UPS because i swear I saw you checking out my package

[PHDPLEASE]

Shenanigans and Melba???

Shenanigans and Dixie were my next guesses!

[fuzzis]

Shenanigans and Melba???

Yes...and no. (I didn't know Fishie seven years ago. :kekeke:)

[hendrixfreak70]

Shenanigans and an area close to the Hunt Club, I'd hit it for sure...

[4olems]

Hey you got the time?..because ive got the energy

[chaz]

I had a friend of mine that if he noticed a girl come into a bar by herself he would walk up to her and say "Wanna go to my car and F**k?" It worked prolly 1 out of a dozen attempts, but when it did he would be gone for like 2 hours.......no tellin' how many bars he got kicked out of.

Them's pretty good odds.

[58ford]

Lemme get a couple more beers.....I ain't quite drunk enough to make this big a mistake.

[4olems]

You may not be the best looking girl in here but beauty is only a light switch away

[Olohian]

Hey baby, you NEED me.

[PHDPLEASE]

I had a friend a while back that spoke with a pretty deep drawl...and he was an obnoxious prick...but he would walk up to chicks at parties and say "You want me, don't you?"...it worked more often than not.

Go figure.

[JimmyJam]

My personal worst pickup line was "You ever "boinked" a guy with a mullet? Sadly, it never worked....but my mullet was rocking! :laugh:


I did once tell a girl that I would pass out before I got drunk enough to leave a party with her.

[mi_nombre_es]

Hey baby, why don't you lay me across your bed, treat me like a buffet and take anything you want!


or a guy walks up to a girl "Is your dad a thief?" She says "No" and he says "Well how did he steal the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes"


Guy walks up to a girl: "Nice dress, but I bet it would look better hanging from my ceiling fan, wanna find out?!"

[EricStratton]

My favorite:

Need me to hold your hair back?

[EricStratton]

What's for breakfast?

[EricStratton]

You're not a cop are you?

[mi_nombre_es]

Eric's favorite pickup line is "Are you sure your over 18? cuz this ID looks fake and I swear, i've seen you somewhere around Faber High school"

[Fire Extinguisher]

Never had to use one..... been with the same woman since highschool.....

O Woe is me!

[lamarrebel]

Yes...and no. (I didn't know Fishie seven years ago. :kekeke:)

I swear I didn't do!! lol

This must've happened before I showed up.

[Rainey]

I can not divulge my cheesy lines... they would go from a 1% working margin to 0!

[politically incorrect]

The voices inside my head told me to ask you to dance. :smt118

[lamarrebel]

Here's one that's been directed to me by females several times in the past month:

"Are you divorced yet??" (rolls eyes)

[Fish-Bait]

Here's one that's been directed to me by females several times in the past month:

"Are you divorced yet??" (rolls eyes)

yeah.....right.....roflmao....:laugh::laugh::laugh :

[lamarrebel]

Seriously..I've gotten that several times while out and about...and at this point, I just don't care to hear it....

[Fish-Bait]

lordy johnson........

[TheKing]

Here's one that's been directed to me by females several times in the past month:

"Are you divorced yet??" (rolls eyes)

you are indeed a catch

[EricStratton]

lamar,

I know you may not be ready to jump back in the saddle....but, if all this () is being thrown at you, you might wanna catch some of it......

[TheKing]

lamar,

I know you may not be ready to jump back in the saddle....but, if all this () is being thrown at you, you might wanna catch some of it......

and dont tell them any of the negatives of your current job/income situation...

i guarantee you that () will walk away.

women dont need you to spend money on them before you can get it on... they just need to think that you can

[Checkers Boy]

lamarrebel's pickup line:

Your backseat or mine?

Or...

Your mother's house or my mother's house?

[lamarrebel]

Well my mother is 750 miles away...and is a devout Christian woman...so that won't be happening.

And at age 35...I think Ive grown up too much to do the backseat thing...lol

But, seriously...one thing I am not is a hypocrite, and I am not going to engage in activity that I am condemning otherwise.

[Checkers Boy]

Well my mother is 750 miles away...and is a devout Christian woman...so that won't be happening.

And at age 35...I think Ive grown up too much to do the backseat thing...lol

I thought you were living in your car.

[TheKing]

Well my mother is 750 miles away...and is a devout Christian woman...so that won't be happening.

And at age 35...I think Ive grown up too much to do the backseat thing...lol

you are never to old for the backseat.

it helps you relive your youth.

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/anomaly/images/007-greatest-pickup-line.gif

[kuntrykruzin1]

"If you're left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right was Christmas, would you mind if I visited you between the holidays?"

[kuntrykruzin1]

"Smile if you want to sleep with me."

[4olems]

You might as well sleep with me im going to tell everybody we did anyway...

[kuntrykruzin1]

"Excuse me. Have we had sex?"

[kuntrykruzin1]

"Do I know you? Because I'm having a hard time recognizing you with your clothes on."

[4olems]

I wish you were a door so i could slam you all day..

[4olems]

Nice legs..what time do they open?

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e198/crystalcitadel/male-neanderthal-pulling-female-nea.gif

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d32/whyteeford/guitars_cyandhap.jpg

[P-2]

The best/worst one I ever heard was you go up to a girl and say " hey want to go get a pizza and f***? When see looks at you in disgust say " what don't like pizza?'

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://www.custard.org/~scorchio/djs/pimp.jpg

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://static.flickr.com/28/66413798_853bfacf07.jpg

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://www.baronbob.com/QuagmirePintsample.jpg

[4olems]

Do you believe in love at first sight..or should i walk by again?

[EricStratton]

My favorite...a wise old man passed along to me:

"You ever had your belly button licked?......from the inside?...."

[4olems]

Is that a keg in your pants because id love to tap that a**

[4olems]

There are some things money cant buy i hope sex with you isnt one of them...

[Ted]

you are never to old for the backseat. :laugh: heh heh heh

A few more decades'll change yer thinking on that. ;)

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://listverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/flattery-pick-up-lines.gif

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://www.lulu.com/author/display_thumbnail.php?fCID=917011&fSize=zoom_&fSide=front&1186161081

[kuntrykruzin1]

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/mba0419l.jpg

[4olems]

The bank was closed can i make a deposit in you?

[4olems]

Are you easy???

[EricStratton]

I heard a guy use this one....this guy was born with only one arm, BTW....

"Ever been with a man with a missing appendage? You know it makes all the other appendages bigger...."

[pollyanna]

"I'd walk a mile to smell your scivvies" . . . . dumb me had to ask what is scivvies. Then I said, ewwwww!

[EricStratton]

"Hey! Nice to meet you! My name is EricStratton....Dr. EricStratton..."

[4olems]

"Hey! Nice to meet you! My name is EricStratton....Dr. EricStratton..."


What do you say next...Will you be my nurse? :kekeke:

[politically incorrect]

I don't have to be back at the half-way house until midnight. Want to spend some time together?

[EricStratton]

What do you say next...Will you be my nurse? :kekeke:

No....women only love one thing more than sex...money...if they really believe you're a doctor....you're in....if they ask for proof, they're too smart and you just move on....

If they ask "What kind of doctor?"....I'd say "Mobile gynocologist...."


Of course, I'm married now so none of this clever material is useful anymore.....my wife realized I wasn't a doctor about 5 years ago...we've been married for six years

[EricStratton]

Okay....I remembered this one, and it's the worst I've heard.....

Friend of ES to stripper: "Will you marry me?"

Stripper: *grabs man's hand and shows him his wedding band*

Friend of ES: "Baby, I will go home and kill my wife, if you'll say you'll marry me!"

Stripper: *eyes get big...mouth opens wide...gets off his lap and walks away*


I thought it was pretty bad if it could astonish a stripper.....

[Mike'sGirl]

I have a co-worker who keeps aking me if I'm tired.......because apparently I've been running through his mind all night.

He's just kidding.....but that's pretty bad.

[chaz]

you are never to old for the backseat.

it helps you relive your youth.

the backseats fold down from the trunk for a reason